


Autumn Leaves

by 3rdgymmanager



Series: Springtime in Sendai [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Awkward Tsukishima Kei, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, F/M, POV Tsukishima Kei, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:40:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25893007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3rdgymmanager/pseuds/3rdgymmanager
Summary: Kei Tsukishima, now in college is reacquainting himself with a childhood friend. Old feelings that he has long shoved aside resurface and now he has to reconcile his feelings.
Relationships: Tsukishima Kei & Reader, Tsukishima Kei/Original Female Character(s)
Series: Springtime in Sendai [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1862608
Kudos: 8





	Autumn Leaves

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Kaori Miyahara is an original character, but readers are free to put themselves into her shoes! There will be more chapters to come and let me know if you have any feedback or if you want to be in the taglist.
> 
> genre: romance, friends to lovers, angst, fluff, pretty wholesome tbh (wc: 9900 lol)

Summer (2014)  
Ishi Acupuncture Clinic  
Sendai City  
2:00 PM

Miyahara Kaori breathed out a sigh of relief after her doctor took out the last ventosa cup from her back. She was given some time off to rest and go to rehab. Unfortunately, her mom had taken the opportunity to book her an appointment with an acupuncturist to help with her sore back. After worrying about the appointment for days, she could finally set her mind to something else.

Tsukishima Kei was seated on the bench in the reception area reading a magazine. He sat mildly hunched over having not yet fully grown into his height. Even when he was seated, he still looked incredibly tall. Kaori had forgotten his exact height, but he was about to hit six feet for someone who was only 14 going on 15. He was waiting for Kaori, his neighbor and friend who constantly dragged him out to join her adventures in the city. The two were set to go to the library today. She had always been jus a friend, but sometimes he couldn't help but feel they were on a date when they hung out just the two of them. They were in their Third Year in Junior High. 

Tsukki looked up from his magazine to find Kaori dressed in a red and white striped top and khaki shorts. It wasn’t often he saw her out of her athletic wear or school uniform. Seeing her a little more dressed up than usual made his heart skip a beat. 

“How was the session?” he asked, putting the magazine back into its place. 

“Still not a fan of needles,” she sniffed, stretching her back a bit. 

“Let’s get out of here.” she shuddered, nudging him towards the door. 

Tsukki led Kaori as they navigated through the streets on their way to the library. He normally never ventured into the city just for a library considering there were a few district libraries closer to their neighborhood, but Kaori had run out of books she was interested in and asked him to bring her to the bigger city library. 

“Can I please just draw you a map from the clinic or something?” he sulked. 

“You labelled the streets wrong last time. You skipped a street and moved an entire’s district worth of streets into the wrong direction!” she frowned, crossing her arms. 

“The street names got cut so I had to write them myself, ok? I already said I was sorry.” he said, exasperated at her attempt to use him as a tour guide again. Kaori would often ask her friends to bring her to unfamiliar places she wanted to explore, but she asked him the most often because he lived closest to her. 

To begin with, Kaori was not great at reading maps and he was equally terrible at making or even just printing them. Something was almost always missing or wrong, so he often brought her to places she asked in concession of getting her lost. Tsukki sighed deeply and grudgingly agreed. 

The city library was in view. They could see its large rectangular architecture and its imposing glass windows from where they stood. The building looked daunting, but as they walked closer, they could see the comfortable couches and chairs scattered around its interior. A sense of excitement brewed inside of them. 

“Kaori, why don’t you just buy the books?” he asked, turning to her. Her family was relatively well-off and her parents were well-read. Surely they see the value of keeping books in their home? He thought about his own book collection at home and how convenient it was. 

“We moved around a lot,” she explained, “My mom said it was impractical to buy lots of books when I could just borrow them. Saves us the trouble of having to ship and store them.”

“But when I get my own house, a house where I don’t ever have to move away from again I want my own book shelf that I can fill with my books and trinkets - a place where I can keep books for years and still be able to read the same one.” she beamed. Kaori was so excited at the sight of the building she was almost skipping. 

“Having my own bookshelf is pretty great,” he agreed. He liked having his own collection. 

Tsukki was struck by the realization that Kaori never had a permanent home and that she actually longed for one. He made a mental note. One day when she finally had her own place, he would save up and get her a bookshelf as a housewarming gift, so that she too could experience the joy of collecting her own books. 

As they approached the library steps, a boy in a bicycle rushed past them barely missing Kaori on his way. Kaori stumbled, almost falling out of balance. She hit Tsukki’s shoulder as she got back onto her own feet. 

The weight of her shoulder pressed against his arm sent his heart on a rollercoaster and the hairs on his arm stand. Lately he had been feeling awkward and jittery around her and it amplified when she touched him in any capacity. He didn’t know where the feeling came from and he really wished it would stop. 

“That was rude,” she huffed, brushing things off. 

“Super reckless,” he added, glaring at the boy’s direction and hoping Kaori couldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating. 

While Kaori signed up for a library card, Tsukki found a four-seater table that they could share. He waved to Kaori as she wandered into the library holding her new card. She waved back as soon as she saw him and put her things down. He placed his things on the seat of the table near the glass windows while she placed her bag opposite to him. 

Tsukki decided to pull out some books on dinosaurs. Kaori headed to the section of English books, but instead she came back with a book on Aichi, Nagoya. 

“I got carried away reading it,” she confessed, taking her seat. “Look at those flowers and endless fields. Doesn’t it look amazing for a spring vacation? I could paint there all day!” 

She pointed at the pictures, shoving the book in his face. Tsukki stood up and sat beside her. Kaori’s arms could barely reach him because of the table between them. He pulled up the chair where her bag was and sat beside her. 

“I thought you hated being in the thicket.” he whispered, giving her the side-eye, “You make fun for our neighborhood for being a forest under the mountain. This isn’t a city at all!”

“Clearly Aichi is not just a thicket. It’s a pretty thicket with more interesting plant life especially during spring.” she argued, pointing towards a field of yellow flowers. 

Tsukki peered over the book to have a closer look at the picture. He became conscious of how close his face was to hers. He could feel her breath at the side of his face and the weight of her gaze on the book. His nose almost touched her cheek. His cheeks warmed the longer he stayed so close to her. He quickly backed away when he realized his cheeks were hot. If Kaori had turned to look at him at that moment, he just knew he would melt in embarrassment. 

“Spring is done this year, so maybe you can go next year.” he shrugged, walking back to his seat. 

“I’m not in a rush to visit Aichi. I could be when I’m an adult. I just hope to be able to visit someday. My gymnastics schedule is still tight right now. Maybe when I retire.” she said, flipping through the book. 

Kaori eventually found her way to the section with English books. She pulled out around ten and narrowed down the five she wanted to borrow. Because Kaori spent some time abroad, her English was better than most local students. Her mother encouraged her to begin reading books in English a year before they began living abroad so that Kaori would be able to read signs and other things by the time they moved. Tsukki borrowed a couple of books on world history that were not among his collection. He liked history, but not enough to buy much books on the topic. 

After their trip to the library, they stopped by the convenience store for some snacks. Kaori bought two mini-cartons of croquettes and gave half to Tsukki. The croquette was still warm and its juices flowed when Kaori sank her teeth in. Sometimes she bought Tsukki food to make up for having dragged him into her adventures. That and she wanted to make sure he was eating. Tsukki didn’t have much of an appetite. 

They ate as they walked. Neither one of them talked as they walked side by side. The sun began turning orange when they finally reached the station. 

When they entered the station, Kaori lost herself in the crowd. Her eyes were searching for which platform to head to when she realized Tsukki was gone. He would know where to go. It was probably the first platform on the right, but he would confirm it for her. She liked to be better than him in many things except for directions. He could be better at that. 

She walked deeper into the station where everyone was heading to before they separated into their respective platforms. Kaori made sure to keep pace so as not to bump into anyone. 

Tsukki was a human giraffe. He would not be difficult to find. Sure enough she found a tall, relatively slim boy looking left and right beside the ticketing booths, frantically adjusting his glasses. She placed a hand on his elbow. He jolted back to look at her.

“There you are!” she said calmly.

Tsukki sighed in relief. He felt like the past few minutes had made him sweat, in part because the station was warm but also because he thought Kaori was lost. 

“You should walk slower next time. You take really long strides.” she said, pushing him in the direction of the first platform. He looked slightly shaken. Tsukki slowly relaxed and let her walk in front of him. His eyes on her this time. He was so relieved to find her he didn’t retort. 

The train they got in was not extremely packed, but wasn’t empty either. All the seats were taken and the two of them stood for the trip home. Kaori picked a spot near the door where she could lean back and read her book. Tsukki stood opposite her. His arms were crossed and his headphones were on. 

Kaori felt the gentle shuttling of the train as she lightly bounced against the acrylic stands of the seats. The rhythm calmed her down. She became quickly absorbed with the book in her hand. The rest of her borrowed loot was in a paper bag between her feet. Trains were nice. She wished she could ride them every day to school if they were actually in her route. 

Tsukki found it difficult not to be absorbed by Kaori. Her hair had turned into a warm shade of brown and her skin was illuminated by sunset. He cocked his head to quickly look at her. He wanted to lean forward and stand closer to her, but he was shy and she probably didn’t like him that way, so he stood where he was. He turned to look outside the window and occasionally sneak glances at her through his lashes. 

When they got to their home station, Kaori darted for their bikes parked just outside. She dropped her books into her bike’s basket and sighed. 

“My back feels really heavy after the acupuncture session.” she stretched a bit bending backwards until she looked like a table. Tsukki felt like his back would snap in half if he tried that stretch. 

He followed behind her and placed his books on his basket. They carefully pulled out their bikes and prepared to head back home. 

“Probably didn’t help that you borrowed so many books too,” he said, bringing out his own bike from the thicket of bikes.

“My back will get over itself tomorrow anyways,” she said defensively brushing him off. 

Tsukki didn’t feel like going home just yet. He wanted to stretch the day just a little longer. The sun was still out albeit setting and there was still time before dinner. 

“Let’s drop by the convenience store. I want some popsicles.” he said.

They biked towards the nearest store and Tsukki came out with two popsicles. He handed one to Kaori. They stood with their bikes at the parking of the store. They ate in silence. 

“Our Junior High team is having a game sometime in October. You should come. Yamaguchi will be playing too.” he said awkwardly attempting to fill the stillness. 

“I’ll go if I don’t have to be competing that weekend.” she promised, licking her popsicle. Kaori liked watching competitions, especially if she was not the one competing. 

“When are your fall competitions?” he asked, “Has the Federation said anything? Assignments for the grand prix circuit should be out by now. 

“I don’t know the exact dates, but Coach did already announce them. I don’t want to think about them until I actually have to.” she shrugged her shoulders, “It’s summer, I don’t want to think about competing, I just want to have fun!” 

Kaori had been thinking about her career next to Tsukki’s. She was competing in the elite level. Aside from finally competing as a senior, there was no place higher for her to go. Gymnasts typically peaked quite early with most women retiring in their twenties or even in their teens. 

Tsukki meanwhile was playing at the Junior High level. Currently, he is just starting out on his volleyball career. He had a long way to go before he reached his peak because his sport depended on height, power and experience in contrast to hers which placed a bigger emphasis on smaller body frames. 

“Do you think you’ll play professionally one day?” she asked, “Like in a big gym with crowds cheering after High School?” she asked. 

Tsukki is competing on a Junior High level, but one day she imagined him in a professional team playing in center court with posters of his team all over the venue. People would know him by name and know his stats by heart. She wasn’t exactly sure if he could make it to the top tier of the professional division, but playing professionally seemed possible. 

“I’m not sure I’m good enough. Who knows? Maybe I’ll quit after High School, maybe I won’t.” he shrugged. He didn’t particularly like volleyball. It was mostly just a club activity he picked up because his brother also played. 

“But if you do though…” she trailed. 

“Then your first tickets are on me.” he scoffed, biting off the last piece of popsicle from the stick. He doubted he would be good enough. 

“Would you sign it too?” she asked eagerly. When Kaori had the chance to attend international senior events for rhythmic gymnastics, she would ask her idols to sign her program guide or her notebook. She thought it would be cool if they signed her ticket, but she attended these events with a pass (as a fellow athlete) and not a ticket.

“If I really made it to a pro-league, sure. But I’d have to make it in first,” he said skeptically, getting ready to get back onto his bike. A professional career was so far off. 

Kaori got on her bike, “Tsukishima, hear me out. I think you could make it. You’re tall and competitive. You have good game sense. You need more training, strength and stamina, but that will come in time. If you get good coaching and more fired up about winning, you will probably get scouted.” She spoke with such confidence. He was dazed by how certain she sounded. 

Tsukki turned to her puzzled, “Developing more strength and faster reflexes is an issue I’m kind of dealing with right now. How would you know if I will be scouted? I’m not a stand out player or anything. Don’t be patronizing.”

Kaori tutted with her hands on her hips, “I’m on the Junior National Team remember? That’s right Miyahara Kaori of Team Japan. I know a thing or two about being scouted. I wasn’t a stand out gymnast either but I made it. It’s about working on your weaknesses and building on your strengths. Don’t worry about those Junior High prefectural awards. Not everyone stands out when they’re young. In fact that’s the most recognition some of them will ever get. Make your move in High School.” 

They started biking homewards. Tsukki was a little astounded and grateful by Kaori’s belief in him. Could he really make it as a pro-player? 

The route back home was nearly empty. They could bike freely on the lanes. Tsukki rode near Kaori, attempting to push her off the bike by poking her. He would ride near her then move away when she started to attack. Kaori fought back by trying to push him off his bike with a book. Although he had a clear advantage because of his long arm Kaori was persistent and quick. She tried to surprise him when she could. 

They sparred back and forth until their fingers touched. A buzz of electricity shot through his veins. He tried to remember what it was like to touch her finger. He only remembered the pressure of her finger on his. 

Kaori quickly jabbed him on the side and rode off on her own while he was distracted. She stopped at the intersection. 

“Hey! That hurt.” he said winced, clutching his side. He pedalled faster to catch up to her. He lowered his eyelids and stared down at her. 

“You started it!” she laughed and biked again. He biked to catch up with her. 

Kaori was laughing as the wind carried her hair. Her laugh was music to his ears. He smiled to himself when she looked ahead. He was so helplessly crushing to her. He wished the day could extend itself so he could spend a little more time together. Their houses appeared within their view. Tsukki wished they had lived on the next street instead. 

——————————————————————————————  
Fall (2018)  
Sendai City Gymnasium  
Sendai City  
2:00 PM

The Fukushima City Stadium was abuzz for today’s game. The Sendai Frogs, a Division 2 professional volleyball league, were playing a game against the hometown Fukushima Red Warriors. There were lines on the snack counters and people looking for their event’s program sheet. Former volleyball players were chatting in groups just outside the court and families were walking to and fro the hallway. 

Tadashi Yamaguchi headed into the court. He walked into the bleachers to find Kaori Miyahara already seated and browsing through the event profiles. Her hair was down and she was dressed in a denim jacket and a dress. He recognized her even though he could hardly see her face because she was covered by the book. He hardly remembered the last time he saw more than just a glance of her. It seemed so long ago. 

Kaori looked mostly the same from her middle school self. She had always been poised and neat with a constant air of dignity about her but there was something different about her this time around. As he climbed the stairs, he felt it was strange to watch a volleyball game in the bleachers with her. It used to be that he was on the court and she was on the bleachers during volleyball games.

“Kaori! Hi…” he said, waving at her.

Kaori waved back and motioned to the empty seat beside her. 

“How have you been?” he asked casually, seating himself beside her. He had bought snacks just before he entered the court and offered some onigiri to her. She politely declined. 

“I just came off my physical therapy session and rushed here. Tsukki thought I might not make the game because of the travel, but here I am.” she smiled, “How have you been?”

Kaori Miyahara, Tadashi Yamaguchi and Kei Tsukishima went to the same Junior High and High School up until Kaori transferred out during her first year second semester. They were even in the same class in Junior High. Yamaguchi was Tsukishima’s (or Tsukki as they both called him) best friend and volleyball teammate while Kaori was Tsukki’s next door neighbor. She used to attend their games and they did their best to cheer her on in her gymnastics competitions.

“I’m doing well. It’s been a while. Feels a bit strange that we’re on the same side of the bleachers now too.” he nodded. 

In the somewhat distant past of Junior High, Kaori would gather up their other classmates who attended their games and turn them into a mini-cheer squad. He still remembered her voice ringing through the court when they scored a point. 

“If this feels really strange, maybe you and Tsukki should catch one of my competitions so it will be just like Junior High.” she joked. 

Yamaguchi laughed. He remembered afternoons in the local gym when Kaori used to compete in local competitions to warm up for her pre-season. There were not that many competitors from the prefecture and the bleachers were hardly packed, but Kaori always participated to test her routines under competition pressure. It would be one of the few chances for her friends to see her too considering at that time she either competed away from the prefecture or internationally. Tsukki would make him go so that he didn’t attend alone. 

Kaori would typically medal on most of her apparatuses and Yamaguchi would cheer with her other friends from school. Tsukki would religiously clap just because he didn’t really cheer. 

“We really should. Tsukki’s schedule is always busy with practice, but we really should make time. You mostly compete within the area now, it's a poor excuse not to go.” he nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah and Tsukki would complain about going just like old times!” she laughed, remembering many a walk to school where she was coming up for reasons for him to go. 

“He would pretend to complain, but he always went.” said Yamaguchi with a knowing smile. 

Kaori couldn’t help but grin. It was true. She would invite him and he would grudgingly agree to go, but he never failed to show up, noisemakers and program guide in hand. Just before the court started filling with people, Yamaguchi suggested they move down to the lower seats to get a better view of the game. 

They made their way down and chose seats at the visiting team’s side towards the side of the net. Tsukki was the type that didn’t invite people to his games because he felt it added pressure to an already high stakes event. His friends and family often disregarded and went anyway. 

The players began warming up. They appeared on the court and some fans cheered the name of individual players. Somewhere behind them, someone yelled “Tsukishima!”

“They look like they’re probably from the university. I can’t believe they travelled here for this.” said Kaori banging her noisemaker, a little surprised ”I didn’t know he had gotten so popular during our time apart.” 

Kaori hadn’t watched his games for years. This was Tsukki’s first game of the season. Although technically he was in his second year as a professional player. This was Kaori’s first game since they reconnected towards the end of winter term earlier on this year. 

“After we qualified for our first prefectural finals for volleyball, girls started coming up to me to ask about Tsukki. He’s had a following since then.” explained Yamaguchi, turning to her. 

“He’s not as good looking as Oikawa, how did that happen?” she asked in confusion. Tooru Oikawa was a player for another school in the prefecture. He was wildly popular among high school girls when they were freshmen for his looks, charm and skill. He almost always had fans waiting for him to arrive at the stadium during matches to give him gifts. He was the type to get fans, not stoic giants like Tsukki. 

Yamaguchi chuckled, “I guess girls like tall boys and star players? I don’t really know either, they just said he looked cool.”

“I’ve always wondered if you ever get jealous when girls cheer for him on games.” he added hesitantly. 

“No, not really. Honestly he’s not really into this kind of attention either.” she said, shrugging with ease.

“I’m more interested in Tsukki as a player because he sets up mind games. He finds it fun to strategize. Watching him play is a great way to see how his mind works.” she explained. 

Yamaguchi nodded. Kaori’s observations were true. Tsukki was an athlete that did not run on instinct. All his plays were distilled from his observations at court. Yamaguchi was a little jealous that his best friend had found someone who knew how he ticked as an athlete. 

“You know when our team was doing in High School I kept thinking of how much you’d enjoy our games. We got really competitive with the top schools. Tsukki really honed his game sense during those years. You would’ve been very proud of him. He wouldn’t admit it, but I think he would have liked you to have seen his growth too.” he reminisced. 

Yamaguchi remembered the time in Junior High when Tsukki let slip his crush towards Kaori. It was a week before their match and he had been too nervous to eat lunch. 

“Tsukki! I’m so nervous for our game on Saturday I can barely eat lunch.” groaned Yamaguchi, sitting in front of his still wrapped lunch box. 

“It’s just a Junior High game, you shouldn’t put so much time worrying about it.” he said, unwrapping his own lunch on his table. 

Yamaguchi sighed and threw his head back.

“Is Kaori coming to watch? I think I’d be even more nervous if she brought some of our classmates to watch.” he sighed. 

“She’s out competing right now but she said she’ll come to our game next week.” he said, smiling smugly to himself.

The smile did not go unnoticed.

“Tsukki, are you smiling?” asked Yamaguchi. 

Tsukki quickly recoiled into a scowl, “No, why would I?”

Yamaguchi began teasing him, “Do you like her? You were definitely smiling!”

Tsukki’s eyes narrowed. He shooed Yamaguchi, “Shut up! That’s not true.” Even if it was kind of true. He continued to frown even though his cheeks were turning a light shade of pink.

“I fully support you!” encouraged Yamaguchi, “She’s a great athlete and she knows how to play volleyball. She’s smart and she’s funny too. Tsukki, she’s perfect for you.”

“If she’s so great, why don’t you ask her out then?” he retorted. 

“Because like I said, she’s perfect for YOU.” nodded Yamaguchi with finality, “You should try asking her out before some other boys do.” 

When Kaori moved away during High School, Tsukki was beyond crushed. He pretended like it didn’t bother him, but Yamaguchi knew that it was all just a facade. 

“I am proud of him. I sometimes catch your games when they’re in Tokyo, you know? Or if there are replays online.” she said, “I’ve always believed in him. When I found out he had been signed onto the Sendai Frogs, I definitely called it.” She smiled. There was an unabashed affection and respect in the way she spoke about him. 

“Ughhh, see this is why you’re perfect for him! I was hoping you guys would get together in High School before you moved away. In my mind, you were the perfect sports couple. It’s such a waste Tsukki didn’t make a move then,” sighed Yamaguchi.

“I don’t think he was ready then,” she chuckled, “Besides, I would have turned him down. I knew Tsukki had feelings for me, but I really didn’t feel the same way.” 

Yamaguchi’s jaw dropped. He had always thought that she liked him back. The two of them always carved out time during the weekends for each other, not to mention they walked to school almost every day. Kaori put up her hands and waved it from side to side. 

“We’re properly dating now though, so everything worked out in the end I guess.” she rambled.

“I guess it’s not completely surprising. Tsukki can be anti-social and thorny. He takes some being used to.” he acknowledged, “It can be difficult to get along with him, much less like him.”

“That’s rich coming from his best friend.” she snorted. 

“It’s true though and you know it too.” he said, throwing up his hands. 

Kaori reluctantly conceded that it was. 

“Which I guess makes you dating him, a bigger mystery really…” he mumbled, his hand on his chin.

Kaori couldn’t help but laugh. 

“I think I’ve told you that I’m only half Japanese. It may not mean much to you because you’ve known me for a long time now but when you’re a gymnast who starts vying for the national team, people question your spot because they view you as a foreigner. I wasn’t half white either so I wasn’t even a special kind of happa (term used to refer to half-Japanese people). I was just not Japanese enough to some people. 

In fact I like that he never tells me how I should be or what to do. When it wasn’t my Japanese-ness people were questioning, it was the way I ate, the way I talked, it was always not feminine enough or too rough around the edges. Tsukki just expects me to be with me earnestly. He was never fazed by my ethnicity or my femininity.” she shrugged. 

The referee’s whistle blew and signalled the captains to shake before the game. The players from the starting order were introduced. Half of the team were professional full-time players while the other half were still in school. Tsukki was one of few in the starting line-up still in school. It provided Yamaguchi and Kaori a swell of pride to hear his name and jersey number announced. 

When the players got into position just before the game started, Tsukki’s eyes wandered in the audience, stopping at the sight of Kaori. She smiled and made a small wave. She made it after all. 

After the game ended, fans gathered around players to ask for pictures and autographs. They formed circles around the players, who were later shuffled off to booths for signing. Kaori and Yamaguchi took their time before leaving the stands.

“I usually just wait for people to finish their picture-taking sessions before I approach Tsukki. We’ll be able to talk more with him then.” he said. 

“We should have a picture. The three of us! It will be like a class reunion.” she suggested brightly. 

Kaori took out her ticket from her wallet and waved it. “I’m going to ask him to sign my ticket too.”

“What for?” he asked. The couple probably saw each other almost every day at school. Couldn’t she ask him to sign then?

“When we were in Junior High, I told him that he should sign my ticket for his first professional game. I mean, I’m like over a year late to his first actual game, but it’s still my first game.” she said. 

Yamaguchi nodded in understanding, “When the line gets shorter, we should line up for autographs too! You have the ticket signed and I’ll have my program signed too.” He grinned with a twinkle in his eye. 

“He’s going to hate it,” she grinned back, “But let’s do it!”

Yamaguchi and Kaori found the line for the autographs when it began waning. They patiently lined up and chatted until it was their turn (which was not long). Tsukki didn’t have as many fans as they thought he would. 

“What are you doing here? I said I would meet with you guys later.” Tsukki looked a little confused and embarrassed. It never ceased to feel weird when people he knew were standing in line. 

Yamaguchi peeked from behind Kaori, “We’re working towards an authentic experience for Kaori’s first game. She hasn’t been to any professional games here you know.” 

Tsukki tried not to growl at him. He should have known Yamaguchi was going to try to pull this stunt again. Tsukki preferred to meet people he knew after his contractual obligations. Yamaguchi defied his request half the time. Kaori held up her ticket and handed it to him.

“You said you would sign my first game ticket,” she reminded him. 

Tsukki was confused for a moment before his eyes widened at the realization of his promise. He hadn’t taken the promise seriously at that time, but he supposed he still made it.

He pulled a clean piece of paper from under the table and made a makeshift envelope. While he wrote, he used the envelope to cover the ticket as if he was taking a quiz. After he was done, he placed the ticket in an envelope and gave it to her. 

“You can read it when you get home.” he said.

Yamaguchi had him sign the program guide as usual. 

After Tsukki was “released” as he put it, he went for a quick chat with Kaori and Yamaguchi. They got their picture right before the team was preparing to head back to the bus for their ride home. His coach called for him. He excused himself to join his team. Yamaguchi and Kaori took the train home together, catching up as they commuted. They too hadn’t seen each other in years.

When Kaori got home, she took out the ticket out of the envelope to see what Tsukki wrote. The ink had been slightly smudged but his writing was still legible.

“This win was because you knew I’d get here. Thank you for believing in me before my scout did. - Tsukishima”

Kaori read his note twice, thrice, four times, savoring her promise that had come true. She tacked the ticket on the cork board above her small desk. Tsukki is always dismissive about other people’s opinion. It hadn’t fully sunk in that he had taken her word from Junior High to heart. 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Sato-san, I have a favor to ask.” Tsukki approached his senior hastily. 

The Sendai Frogs’ first game in their home city had just ended and fans were just starting to descend from the bleachers. After a few pictures here and there. Tsukki snuck back to the locker room to quickly wipe himself down and put on a jacket without his team logo. 

“Tsukki, are you headed back out? Let’s go together.” nudged Seiji Arakawa, one of his team mates.

“I’ll join in a few, you go ahead.” he said, switching from his sports goggles to his regular glasses.

Tsukki had no plans on running back to the Sendai Frog fans just yet. He was headed to Kaori’s competition. Her coach had entered her into her first competition for the fall. She was scheduled to come up in a few minutes. He had already missed her individual qualifiers and hoop individual finals because of his match, he was not going to miss her best event which was the ribbon apparatus. Akira Sato, the vice-captain, stopped him in the hallway. Just his luck!

“Tsukishima, you’re not in your team jacket. Are you trying to sneak off again?” he said, lifting a brow. 

Tsukishima stopped dead on his tracks. 

“I have to- I got - ribbon finals-“ he stuttered to his senior.

Tsukki guiltily gritted his teeth, “Please Sato-san, it will just be a few minutes. The performance will last less than two minutes. I’ve already missed some events. This is the last one.”

“Please cover for me.” he pleaded. Tsukki was not one to plead, but he was getting desperate. 

Sato patted him at the back, “The game’s over now so you can go. In fact you got me really curious so I’ll go with you!” Sato smiled and ran by Tsukki’s side. 

They passed a few team mates on the hallway on their way to Court C, where Kaori’s competition was held and Sato managed to invite them to come watch with them including Seiji. 

“I think Tsukishima’s gymnast girlfriend is competing! Let’s go cheer her on guys.” he called out. 

“Sato-san—“ said Tsukki, mortified. Thank god they weren’t in the public halls. He would have died of embarrassment. 

“With all due respect to the sport and organizers Tsukki, there doesn’t seem to be a lot of people in that court. We have to bring our own cheer squad.” he said, winking. 

A few of them were approached by fans as they passed the part of the city gymnasium that was open to the public, but most of them made it into the darkened court where Kaori’s was performing. They had gotten there just in time to see her walk in after her name was called out. Seiji, who managed to snag a program guide on the way, looked up the time slot to see who was performing. The vice captain captain quickly seated everyone at the rows nearest to the exit. The team clapped on cue following Tsukki’s lead when Kaori settled into her starting pose. 

“Tsukishima said something about ribbons,” said Sato, reading the guide with Seiji.

“What’s her last name?” said Konegawa trying to read through the program guide in the dark, peering over Seiji’s shoulder, “Miya something right?”

“She’s not really my girlfriend - ” Tsukki interjected. 

“Oh, competing for the Sendai University team. You two go to the same university. It’s her, isn’t it?” confirmed Seiji, pointing at the guide.

“Miyahara Kaori sounds like the name they just announced, must be her.” said Konegawa, scanning through the guide to see if there was a name just like hers. 

“Only cheer when the routine is over. If we cheer too loudly during the performance, they might get distracted.” he snapped.

Tsukki felt hot in the face and folded his arms. He shot a dirty look at Akira Sato, who only chuckled and turned his eyes onto the floor where all the lights were pointed.

As soon as Kaori began her routine, the team behaved themselves. It was a traditional Japanese folk song recomposed as a classical music piece expanded through chords in the style of classical music. The piece began with the familiar opening melancholic notes of the original song. 

The music progressed to undulating waves, emulating the rise and fall of a cool spring breeze. The pace picked up a couple minutes in, whipping petals that were frolicking in the wind. The petals basked in a state of in-between. They had fallen off their branches, but they had not yet touched the ground. Although the music was steadily building, a segment of the piece devoid of its thick chords played with gentle, tingling notes. The piano sounded like hope. 

The piece brought Tsukki back into his Modern Art class where he saw Kaori in his classroom for the first time. The utter shock of seeing her after three years washed over him as he stood at the doorway. She was completely unconscious of him, going over her syllabus in her own desk. The sight of her filled him renewed hope. For a moment, all the pain he had felt about her sudden departure erased itself. 

Tsukki walked around in shock for two days. He felt as if he had been wandering around the campus, unable to focus on any task at hand. He couldn’t believe it. She was back and she seemed happier too. He had prayed to the gods. He pleaded that if they truly listened to the prayers of mortals, they would hear him, that they would keep Kaori safe and that he would be able to see her again. He was beyond overjoyed that his prayers were answered. 

Kaori responded beautifully to the music jumping to the swells and catching her ribbon to the correct beat of the music. He watched her. He couldn’t help feeling like the piece was about her return. His mind ran through the memory of seeing her in class again, reliving his joy and relief. 

The team was completely enamored. They gasped when she leaped and threw her ribbon. They oohed and ahed when she did any of her spins and standing splits. When she finished there was a moment of dead silence. It was as if the entire audience held their breath, unable to believe that the routine was over. Tsukki was quiet too. The silence slowly transported him back to the audience.The ambient noise of the court had melted off and he could only look at her softly. 

The team clapped and cheered enthusiastically when they realized the routine ended. 

“She’s so good!” commented Seiji to Tsukki. 

“That was so beautiful, Miyahara-san!” yelled Konegawa. 

Kaori squinted in their direction during her bows. Tsukki felt obliged to unfold his arms and wave at her sheepishly. He could die of embarrassment right now. His team mates cheered even louder. He wanted to bury himself onto the ground. After she exited, the team quickly scrambled back outside to meet fans and do a bit of press. 

Sato urged everyone to not say anything about where they went until they hit the bus. He didn’t want their coach in a foul mood just yet and besides it was unlikely that they would notice where the went anyways because they were only gone for 10 minutes. 

“Thank you for doing this Sato-san,” bowed Tsukki as they jogged back. 

Sato jogged in contemplative silence, replying to Tsukki a few seconds later. 

“No, thank you Tsukishima. That was very beautiful. You were right to want to see it. I won’t forget her performance any time soon.” he said in a hushed voice.

“She’s hoping to perfect the program for her spring competitions.” he nodded gratefully, Tsukki was surprised by Sato’s reaction. It wasn’t just him who was moved. Hopefully his vice-captain would help him sneak out again should he need to.

“If she’s competing again sometime in spring, when the sakura are ready to bloom, I would like to see that performance again. If you don’t mind,” Sato added.

Before they began loading the bus, Konegawa saw a gymnast with the Sendai University varsity uniform walk around flowers in hand medals around her neck taking pictures with a young fan. He nudged Sato and asked him if that was indeed Miyahara-san. Sato approached her and asked her for her name. When they confirmed it was indeed her, they called over their other team mates who watched her perform to congratulate her. 

“Miyahara-san, we loved your performance! It was so cool! I’ve never seen anything like it before.” cried Konegawa. 

“Excuse him,” apologized Sato at Konegawa’s casualness, “We loved your performance. We hope you could allow us to congratulate you.”

The team flocked Kaori. Tsukki was more than mortified at the sound of Konegawa’s public announcement. They asked for a quick photo with Kaori. She found it hilarious when they dragged Tsukishima into the photo against his will. His eyes were wide with panic when Sato pushed him to the front for the picture.

Kaori excused herself and ran back into her bus. The whole situation amused her and she had no idea how it came to be. Tsukki promised to try to catch at least one event even though she had said it was alright that he missed her competition. In her mind she imagined him sneaking out on his own. It was totally unexpected that his team would involve themselves into the ordeal. Nevertheless she was quite touched that he had showed up like he promised. She was so excited that he had seen her at her best event that she could hardly sleep on the way home. 

On the bus back to the Sendai Frog’s home gym, members of the team that had watched Kaori gathered around Tsukki to interrogate him about Kaori. 

“How did you meet her?” asked Seiji. 

“She moved into the house beside ours during Junior High. She moved out during High School.” he answered.

“Ohmygod, you’re childhood sweethearts!” squealed Konegawa, with his hand on his heart. Despite his towering height, Konegawa had a happy-go-lucky nature and was a softie. He loved tropes like childhood sweethearts. 

“No, well actually she moved away during High School. She moved back to do college gymnastics during college.” clarified Tsukki. They certainly did not date during High School. 

“You mentioned she had a team…can you ask her to introduce us to her team? I bet they’re also graceful fairies! I’ve always wanted to date a gymnast. That would be so cool! We could watch each other’s competitions.” waxed another teammate.

“I mean Tsukki didn’t exactly get to watch her and she missed his entire game because she had her own competition. If you wanted to date someone who would always be at your games, maybe you should look for someone else.” said Seiji, calmly scrolling on his phone on the chair opposite to Tsukki. 

At the front of the bus, Sato sat beside their captain, Koki Hino. He turned to their vice-captain and asked what the commotion was about. Sato skimmed through the events of the day and mentioned that Tsukishima’s girlfriend was in the stadium and some of the members had met her. 

“Tsukishima has a girlfriend? Did I hear that right?” said Hino, shaking his head in disbelief. He had suspected that some of his teammates had girlfriends, but Tsukishima was not one of them. 

“I was surprised too!” laughed Sato, “Although if we’re being honest everyone is equally shocked.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
It was 2 am in the morning. Kaori had just woken up. After she got home from her competition, she only had enough energy to eat dinner and take a quick shower before falling asleep on her tatami floor. She checked the time on her phone. The dishes were still on the table and she hadn’t even laid out her futon bed. She got up, washed the dishes and unfurled her bed. 

Her phone buzzed with a message from Tsukki, “Can’t sleep, let me know if you’re up.”

Kaori: I’m up finishing some chores.

Tsukki: Can I call?

Kaori hesitated. She put her dishes on the rack. She put on her headphones and tucked herself in between the blankets.

Kaori: Sure. What’s the matter?

Tsukki quietly rolled out of his bed and put on a warm jacket. He headed outside making sure to close the bedroom door carefully as to not wake his brother up. He dialed her number and waited for her to pick up. He was speaking in hushed tones. 

“Hey, Kaori,” he said. 

“Tsukki, are you still in your bedroom? You sound like your whispering. ” she said, unconsciously hushing her tone.

“No, I’m outside the bedroom but still inside the house.” he replied, “Anyways, I can’t stop thinking about your solo ribbon performance and the music you used. I don’t know why.”

Tsukki placed himself the furthest away from the bedroom door, which was the corner of the house with the telephone. Unbothered by how cold the living room was with the heater turned off, he sat crouched by his brother’s bookshelf. 

“Today was an especially good competition day.” she admitted.

“Everything I did was going super well, even I knew I could feel that I was balanced and in control of my apparatus.” she nodded, thinking back to how she was hyper-aware of all her performances but without the usual nerves. 

“What made you choose that rendition of Sakura, Sakura?” he asked. 

“I’m a big fan of Belle Chen. I download all her new releases. Hearing this piece though was a totally soul-stirring experience. I was so moved when I first heard it. That bit in the end where it slows down, picks up then swells? I was crying when I first truly sat down to listen to it. Tears were just pouring. The experience was so visceral.” her voice rang with fervor. It was like she was reliving the first time she heard it. He could almost feel her hairs stand on the back of her neck as she spoke. 

“Later, I thought it would be neat to show up to my later spring competitions with Sakura themed-music so there was that too.” she added, cheekily. 

“You looked so ethereal during your routine. It was unlike any of your performances I’ve caught.” he breathed slowly, replaying her performance in his head. 

“I feel like the music captured the last few years for me you know…? At the end of High School, I thought I had exhausted all my good experiences from gymnastics. I had recovered from my injuries by then and I was even winning some local competitions, but I was ready to move on. 

Sendai University made an offer. I was ready to turn it down, but my coach asked me to give my career a shot one last time. I told her I was exhausted. Trying to get back all my difficult skills from when I competed as an elite-level junior had worn me to the ground. I just wanted to dance without feeling like a former shadow of myself.

She said she would work with what I had. No more adding of skills unless I wanted to. I could have more say in my choreography and music. Japanese coaches tend to emphasize on repetitions. Coach has trained abroad so I guess she had a more liberal philosophy to her work. I agreed to come back to Miyagi after that and the rest is history.” she said wistfully.

“I used to think that Sakura was about the impermanence of beauty. It bloomed and then it was blown away, kind of like my career, but listening to the piece reminded me that endings open up new beginnings. I could still find joy in gymnastics even though I was not the gymnast I was. I could still be happy living in Sendai even when it was here that I had experienced many pains. I’m so glad I came back, Tsukki. And her music reminds me of that every time I listen to it.” her voice went quiet. 

Tsukki felt slightly taken aback by how Kaori spoke about herself. Although she no longer competed at the elite level, she was still competitive locally. He hated to think that she peaked as an elite junior and implying that the lack of difficulty in her routine made her a lesser athlete. 

“I mean you were not as technical, but it’s not like you aren’t better than before. You’re competing more freely because you’re not constantly on the brink of injury. You’re not pressured to keep a certain weight as much. Also, you’re closing out your career with an equally passionate team. You’ve spent six years in high school competing against everyone else. Isn’t this more fun way to discover your love for gymnastics?

You moved the entire audience. They forgot to clap because of you. Everyone was in awe. Competing in the elite is not the end all be all of your career. Aren’t you much happier now?”

Kaori was quiet on the other line, “You’re right. I guess I am better now and healthier and happier. Competing in college is great. I chose Sakura, Sakura you know. This would never have happened in high school.” 

“So is your comeback the memory you’d place with this piece?” he asked. 

She shook her head. He could hear the rustling of her hair against the phone. “I don’t want to attach a memory to this piece just yet because I don’t think the memory that is right for this has come yet. Maybe the memory isn’t completed yet. I don’t know I want to save it for the future.”

“While listening to this piece, do you have a memory that you would score this piece to?” she asked. By the way he talked, it seemed that he had a strong memory already attached to the music. 

Tsukki contemplated in silence before he answered. “After you left, I had a dream while I was still in High School that you had come back. Just before the winter started, I had that dream again,” he gulped and felt the weight of his words as he swallowed, ignoring pounding in his chest. 

“When I went into our first class during winter term, I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw you in the room. We lived our high school careers completely away from each other and now we’re here again. Beginnings and endings were part of a cycle, and I was beginning again.”

When Tsukki saw Kaori, he wanted to yell of joy, pain and relief. He walked around in shock and disbelief for two days. Despite his real feelings, he wanted to maintain a facade of indifference. 

“You go here now?” were his first words to her. It was like nothing had happened as he settled on a desk beside her. 

“I couldn’t believe it. I thought I must be dreaming.” he said, shaking his head. 

“I was so happy that you were back and healthy. I couldn’t care less if you were with someone else or whatever. It was like all this time you were gone I couldn’t breathe and you just sitting there made me realize how much I worried about you. I was so relieved just to be able to see you.” Tsukki realized he was rambling, but he had bottled up for so long. The words were pouring out his mouth like a release. 

There was a moment of silence before Kaori spoke up again. 

“Have you ever been upset that I’ve ruined your peace by coming back?” she asked curiously in a hushed voice. 

“Of course not. I would never say no to you coming back to my life.” he said earnestly. 

“That’s very kind of you.” she said softly.

“No, I mean it. It was devastating when you left, but I was also too young to know how to help you if you had stayed. Besides Tokyo seems great, I wouldn’t want to deprive you of your time there.” he smiled to himself. Towards the end of her time in Miyagi back then, a cloud constantly weighed over Kaori. She tried to hide it yet Tsukki easily saw through it. 

Kaori was silent on the other line. What he said was true. He wouldn’t know how to help her through her ordeals at that time, but his earnestness of his well wishes surprised her. She had hurt him and yet his biggest worry about her safety and health. 

“Are ever you worried that happiness - this happiness we’re feeling now is impermanent?” she asked, “Aren’t you scared you don’t know if all this will suddenly disappear?”

Tsukki’s joy at her return was plain of course. However, if things won’t pan out well between them she feared that he would have been through an emotional rollercoaster for nothing. 

Tsukki nodded. He realized she couldn’t see him so he answered yes.

“All the time,” he murmured. “I’m scared because I don’t know how this will last, but I’m so glad you’re back. I can’t even begin to describe the happiness I feel even if that means I have something to lose again.” he swallowed hard. 

Kaori could feel his fear, his ecstasy, his anxieties and his hope rushing through her veins as she listened to him over the phone. She hated to hear the distress in his voice. 

“Kei, I said I’m not going anywhere soon, ok? I’ll tell you when I have to go this time so you can come with me. I’m so sorry, please don’t cry.” she pleaded. 

“I never thought we’d get to this point, where I get to see you when you come back.” he was choking up. The dryness in his throat cracked his voice. 

“I could hold your hand right now...” she whispered, intently listening to him.

“Hey, don’t be sad…we have many springs to score right? The one this year has passed, but we have the one next year and the year after that and so on…and we can go to Aichi, Nagoya some day.” she rambled, trying to cheer him up. 

“And live in a house where we won’t have to move so you can have your own bookshelf.” he said softly.

“We’ll do just that.” she whispered, nodding in silence. 

“I love you…so so much…” his expression softened. He closed his eyes as he felt his tears warm his face. He could hear her steady breathing on the phone. 

When Kaori first met Tsukki, he was just her next door neighbor. She had never imagined that she would spend every morning walking to school or endless afternoons running around Miyagi. Kaori moved many times during her living but leaving Miyagi had been the hardest. Signing her contract with the university filled her with apprehension and excitement, knowing that she might see him again. And here they were now calling in the middle of the night, in between spring competitions toiling away in their fall season just as they did when they were younger.

When Kaori finally put down the phone, she briefly glanced at the ticket with his signature on the cork board and today’s medals on her desk. When she gets her own bookshelf, those have to make it into the trinkets section too. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Deleted scene:  
He thought back to his dream where he was walking along the hallways of Karasuno High School on his way back to the classroom from the canteen. His left hand was throbbing in pain. During his prefectural’s final match, he injured himself while blocking a spike but earned his team’s ticket to Nationals. His hand had been feeling better, but his pain reminded him that he had not healed. Before he steps foot into the classroom, Kaori from the next class appears. He stops his steps. 

“Tsukki, how is your hand?” she asks.

He weaves his way into his seat and sets his lunch down on his desk. She follows him and pulls a chair to sit across him. He glances at his hand, his pinky was still taped, splintered with his ring finger. The tape was running across his wrist and over his hand to protect his dislocated finger.

He nodded, “It’s getting better though, thanks for asking.” He looks down on his desk, suddenly bashful. 

“Good luck with Nationals. It’s going to be great. Everyone’s so excited for the team.” she said. She takes his hand into hers and gently inspects his injury. Her other hand moves to cover his hand. 

Tsukki holds her right hand between his hands. His heart was beating a hundred miles a second. He was nervous as hell. He kept his eyes on her hand. People were staring - he was so sure of it he didn’t even need to look up. He just wanted to be able to keep holding her. His heart beat faster and faster. Just as he has the courage to look up into her eyes. He wakes up. Tsukki was too embarrassed to tell her the entirety of his recurring dream. His cheeks turned pink just at the thought of it.


End file.
